How to Understand What a Relationship Means


Defining a Romantic Relationship


Decide when it is time to talk. If you’ve been spending a lot of time with someone and you think you might be developing romantic feelings for them, but you’re not sure if they feel the same way, it may be time to have the “define the relationship” talk (which some people refer to as the DTR). This is that big milestone talk when both people decide if they are just friends or if they are more than friends–and if they’re more, what they are exactly.[1]

  • It’s often impossible to understand where you stand in a romantic relationship unless you talk it through. A DTR gets your feelings out in the open and takes you from “just friends” to “dating” or an official “couple.”
  • It might be time to have a DTR if you are considering dating other people or if you are considering getting physical (or already have)
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    Talk to your friend in private. Having a conversation about the state of your relationship is not something to do in text messages or in a group setting. It’s best to have important conversations in person so you can gauge the other person’s reactions.[3]

    • Sometimes it is ok to have a conversation in writing, for instance if you are very shy or afraid of putting the other person on the spot. In these situations, write out your feelings in a long-hand letter instead of typing or texting it. It will allow you to really convey your feelings in a personal way while still having the advantage of being able to edit your words before you send or deliver your letter.

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